You know what really grinds my gears (public library rage edition) [Sanford: Marry Maria and don't resign!]
I just had to move computers. Across the room over there, gang of hardcore white-trash fiends playing video games suddenly surrounded and subdued me. Big fat fourteen year-old waste of space screaming over my shoulder. Turned around and glared: nothing. I could have been packing heat, and these shite-for-brainses wouldn’t care. There’s a reason why this country is on its way out. Obama is just an individual. These kids deserve to have their prospects dissipate before they come of age. What are their prospects anyway: zero. Meanwhile, their morbidly obese progenitor with yet another one she’s slagged into the world. How come it’s always the subhumans who breed indiscriminately. This coming from a WASPified Irish-Catholic whose grandmother was one of 15. To paraphrase Chris Rock, nobody hates the bitch with 9 kids on welfare like the woman with 2 who’s busting her ass.
Not that I am. I am unemployed. I also have law school loans to pay back. So, as a matter of practicality, if I were an ignoble grub like my little brother, say, I’d be satisfied with an extension of unemployment benefits, some student loan relief, and a couple yards of pasture to graze. But I am not. I have many character flaws, but I am not a grub. I resist. We are killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. Obama is offering everybody a big, fat, fake Faberge. Meanwhile, off-stage, the goose is dying.
I’ve been waxing so poetic on upstate. Oh, the green fields. Oh, the fat people. My God, their arms. No wonder we’re sliding into tinpot dictator socialism. There’s no way you can think clearly when you’re obstructed by that much fat- and how do they get that way? I’ve been working my way through every Ben & Jerry flavor in existence since losing my job, and I cannot fathom what these people must do behind closed doors to accumulate these kind of glutinous jiggling flesh-mounds.
The other thing you notice here in the hinterlands, beyond the pale (the pale ending at somewhere around Westchester): white men. I feel like bringing my camera around and surreptitiously compiling a photo essay, I feel like I’m on safari, I feel like I’ve entered a white man preserve. They’re everywhere. Buying beer, driving, walking around, painting things, fixing cars, buying beer. And they seem to be a dime a dozen around here. There they are strolling through the supermarket with their morbidly obese brides. These women must not fear competition. That’s how you can tell tourist couples from local couples in New York City, incidentally. Ugly man + hot woman = local. Ugly woman + hot man = tourists. I think I could really make it up here, I do. The whole not-being-obese-still-retaining-all-your-teeth thing, I think I could work it.
More things that grind my gears.
I am sick of conservatives making pissant arguments like, “But cap and trade won’t even help the environment! Wait, let me prove it with the following discursive borefest.” One of the few certainties we can count on in this world is that a bill whose purported objective is “save the earth” (along with its precious reserves of unicorns and rainbows) is utter rot. Let’s get beyond this, shall we. Let’s not dignify this bullshit by ineffectually protesting, “but wait, this doesn’t really seem to do what Nancy Pelosi says it will.” You’re eight steps behind the resistance. Keep up.
The purpose of Cap and Trade is not to make the world safe for Dora, Diego, and baby jaguar. The purpose of Cap and Trade is to construct a bureaucratic money morass emanating from the top that will be impossible to challenge and will entail Obama, Pelosi, Henry “Reigning Ugliest American Senator Ever 1975-2009″ Waxman, Reid, Schumer, and the crew greasing their horned hairy devil-palms with filthy lucre through the payment of indulgences. That’s what this is: an indulgences scheme.
Maybe some of you aren’t Catholic. I am, and it comes in handy. Catholics are required to have a priest hear their confession and absolve them of their sins (“Bless me my Lord, for I have sinned, it has been 21 years since my last confession…”). In the Middle Ages, a practice came about where sinners could purchase “indulgences,” from the Catholic Church, and they would be forgiven in accordance with the amount of moolah forked over. This kind of veniality and corruption led straight to Protestantism. We could learn a lot from Martin Luther (God forgive me for saying so).
On the way upstate we were listening to Michael Barone on the radio- who is very funny! He was saying that this climate change crusade is a new religion. Barone referred to Cap and Trade as a system of indulgences and talked about how Al Gore (thank God we were spared that fatuous booby) has said things like you have to take global warming on faith. Another example of how secular people are fucked up. Humans are never really secular, humans are not designed to be secular, if you don’t put Godliness where it belongs- on God, you displace it on to something else.
One has only the choice between God and idolatry. If one denies God … one is worshiping some things of this world in the belief that one sees them only as such, but in fact, though unknown to oneself imagining the attributes of Divinity in them.
According to Gateway Pundit, Sotomayor’s been reversed 66% of the time. Last night my mother remarked, “She’s a product of affirmative action, but she’s not getting much affirmed action.” Then she said, “Put that in your blog, eh?” I love my mother. I’m countercultural like that.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg in her dissent to the Ricci case said that “people good at taking tests were not necessarily the best leaders in public safety emergencies.” This is not about being “good at taking a test.” This is about possessing enough requisite knowledge to pass a test. Further, the test was in order to promote the firefighters to supervisory positions. This isn’t just about being strong and brave. And zark off, Ginsbug, with your “history of racial discrimination” in firefighting. Why don’t we have a little chat instead about some contemporary discrimination problems, like antisemitism at Columbia.
As for Obama, a few insights:
“As president, he tried to steer [the country] hard left — but succeeded mainly in boosting corruption and cronyism.”
He “sees Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro as beacons for the future.”
“[R]ather than blame the global downturn or his own failures, [he] sought to rally the masses behind him by fingering the nation’s elites as behind the nation’s woes.”
Psyche! The above quotes were from an article on Zelaya the tin-pot dictator that Honduras just ousted- which “deeply concerns” Obama. It should deeply concern him. It might give the sheeple some ideas.
My last thought, the last item on my list of things that really grind my gears today, You know what I would have said to Kurtz? In Apocalypse Now (or Heart of Darkness, which is infinitely better, but I’m so used to dumbing everything down I can’t stop)? When he said, “You’re just an errand boy sent by grocery clerks.” I would have replied, “Yeah, I’m just an errand boy sent by grocery clerks, and you’re just the bullshit local voodoo chieftain of a bunch of ignorant enslaved primitives.”
Oh, and finally: SANFORD, MARRY MARIA AND DON’T RESIGN!!!
